Top 40 Funny Travel Quotes
Everyone loves a good laugh from passive-aggressive remarks and puns. First, I saw like there is nothing funny about travel. Well, it appears I’m wrong, and there are lots. Funny travel quotes are an excellent way of cheering up your day and keeping away from the travel difficulties.
Humor will assist you to reverse a bad day – simply a laugh can transform your mood. That is why we love funny quotes and have compiled some of them in this article. While collecting these quotes, I couldn’t help myself but giggle a little. It was not easy to find the best funny travel quotes because there are lots of notable writers and famous individuals out there with unstoppable humor.
Sincerely speaking, some of these quotes might not seem funny to you until you come across a scenario that truly relates to some of these funny quotes during your travels. If you have related to most of the quotes outlined here, you can’t help but smile.
We will list some of the best cool quotes that will give you a good laugh. Some are funnier than others; it is up to you to judge. The quotes are not arranged according to their meanings, and they are just randomly selected for you.
These humorous quotes will make your next travel a real tour. We hope you will laugh, love, and remember these travel quotes.
- I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list. Susan Sontag
- How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to anyone? George Roberts
- Never trust anything you read in a travel article. Dave Barry
- In flying, the probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Neil Armstrong
- I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter. Steven Wright
- Dear Hotel People: We don’t need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you. Dave Barry
- Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting. Andy Borowitz
- Gosh that takes me back … or forward. That’s the trouble with time travel, you never can tell. Dr. Who
- I look forward to the invention of faster-than-light travel. What I’m not looking forward to is the long wait in the dark once I arrive at my destination. Mark Beland
- It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen
- It’s easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one. Art Buchwald
- Whilst traveling through the Andes Mountains, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days! W.C. Fields
- Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. Jerry Seinfeld
- Wherever we’ve travelled in this great land of ours, we’ve found that people everywhere are about 90% water. David Letterman
- A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people. Garrison Keillor
- Greyhound Bus Lines motto: “We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards.” Dave Barry
- I think that’s how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, ‘Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough. Let’s go west.’ Richard Jeni\
- No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing – a yellow taxicab. Scott Adams
- Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. Fran Lebowitz
- The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels. foodandwhining @foodandwhining
- U.S. Air is losing $2 million a day, making it the official airlines of the U.S. government. Melanie White
- Any time you fly somewhere, don’t pay your credit card bill. If the plane crash lands, those people will never stop looking for you. Kelkulus @kelkulus
- Denver International Airport has a control tower that sways in the wind. The good thing about it is that it looks perfectly still to the pilots who’ve been drinking. Melanie White
- At the end of my Southwest Airlines flight, the attendant announced, “Be sure and check around your seat. Don’t leave behind any personal problems.” But I’d already spilled all my angst. Greg Tamblyn
- There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do. Rich Jeni
- I love it when the flight attendant says, “Your seat cushion becomes a flotation device.” Well why doesn’t the plane just become a boat? Steve Shaffer
- There is nothing quite like a flight to LaGuardia. Except maybe the last chopper out of Saigon. Dave Barry
- August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats f*%king in a sock. Ichiro Suzuki
- Kansas is a piece of real estate that completely disproves the theory of roundness as a quality of the planet earth. Bruce Cameron
- Nebraska is like Siberia with 7-11’s. Unknown Author
- Los Angeles is where you go when you want to be somebody.
New York is where you go when you are somebody.
Miami is where you go when you want to be somebody else. Billy Corben
- In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant. Will Durst
- San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions. Dave Barry
- Recently I found myself arguing with a British friend of mine over which tastes better: English cooking or dirt. Bruce Cameron
- Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything! Steve Martin
- When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London. Bette Midler
- You know you’re in India when you hear yourself telling your driver as he is backing up, “Careful, there is a cow behind you.” Lydia Ramsey
- People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal. Melanie White
- If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. Doug Larson
- I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage. Bob Hope
We hope that the quotes have made you laugh if you have ever been in the areas that are mentioned in the quotes.